Tips for Talking to Children

• Emphasize that schools are very safe
• Validate their feelings and explain that all feelings are OK
• Let children talk about their feelings and help them put these feelings into perspective
• Assist children in expressing these feelings appropriately

• Let your child's questions be your guide as to how much information to provide
• Be patient. Children do not always talk about their feelings readily
• Watch for clues that your child may want to talk, such as hovering around while you work on a chore or task
• Some children prefer writing, playing music or doing an art project as an outlet
• Young children may need concrete activities (drawing, looking at picture books or imaginative play) to help express their feelings

Elementary School

Elementary school children need brief, simple information. Reinforce that school and home are safe and that adults are there to protect them. Examples of school safety include:

• School doors are locked
• Adults monitor the playground
• Students practice emergency drills

Intermediate School

Intermediate school children may ask more questions about safety and need help separating reality from fantasy. Discuss how schools and community leaders work to keep schools safe:

• Regular drills
• Locked school doors
• Adults monitoring the playground

Middle and High School

Middle and high school students often have strong opinions about school safety and violence. Emphasize their role in maintaining a safe school environment:

• Do not allow strangers into school buildings
• Report strangers on campus
• Report threats to school safety
• Share personal safety concerns with school administrators
• Seek or encourage support for emotional needs

Some children may not express their concerns verbally. Changes in behavior, appetite and sleep patterns can also indicate a child's level of anxiety or discomfort. In most children, these symptoms will ease with reassurance and time. Some children may be at risk for more intense reactions. Children who have had a past traumatic experience or personal loss, suffer from depression or other mental illness, or with special needs may be at greater risk for severe reactions than others. Seek the help of mental health professionals if you are concerned.

Limit television viewing and be aware if the television is on in a common area. Developmentally inappropriate information can cause anxiety or confusion, particularly in young children. Adults also need to be mindful of the content of conversations that they have with each other in front of children, even teenagers, and limit their exposure to vengeful, hateful and angry comments that might be misunderstood.

Keeping a regular schedule can be reassuring and promote physical health. Ensure that children get plenty of sleep, regular meals and exercise. Encourage them to keep up with their schoolwork and extracurricular activities. Don't push too hard if they seem overwhelmed.

• Source: National Association of school psychologists